Elusively Illusive Love
by Quantum-Poptart
Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha’s relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?
1. Ch1: Two Sexy Men

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! eep!

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**A/N: It's a mystery to me! R&R cause you love me! Please:)

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**Chapter One: Two Sexy Men**

I pulled a brush through my waist length black hair, focusing my deep blue-grey eyes on my paled reflection in the mirror. I looked sickly. Or so that was my opinion. Pulling my hair back into a loose pony-tail, I stood and tore my eyes away from my reflection. I quickly put on tight black jeans and a pink tank top. It was nice outside. The sun made it so bright that, looking out from my dark apartment, everything looked over saturated and it all seemed so surreal. Beautiful, in a way. I grabbed my cell phone and my keys and ran out the door after quickly scribbling down a note stating that I'd gone out for a while. I couldn't have my sisters and little brother worrying about me.

Who am I? I am Kagome Higurashi, I am a single 21 year old and I live with my four siblings in a very large apartment in Tokyo, Japan. A twin, two sisters, and a little brother. Kikyou, Sango, Kirara, and Shippou. I love them very much and wouldn't get rid of them for the world. Though, we've all been so very busy with our own lives, relationships, and jobs that we hardly ever see each other anymore. I don't know what Sango, Kirara, and Shippou are doing, but Kikyou works in the café on the corner of the street and I work in a book store. Today is my day off. Anyways!

The day went by so quickly. It was almost dizzying. I ran into a man today. Two men, actually, and they were the most handsome men I have ever seen. It's weird to say, but they were almost _pretty._ The older man's sophisticated intelligence and the younger man's brash liveliness were breathtakingly attractive.

Their names? Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha Takashi. Half brothers. But they looked so much alike, yet they acted and presented themselves so differently. Even though they looked so similar they still had their slight differences. Like, Sesshoumaru's eyes were different than his younger brothers'. Sure, they both had golden eyes but Sesshoumaru's resembled that of liquid gold, sultry and all-knowing, whereas Inuyasha's were more like the sun, lively and curious. Inuyasha's hair was whiter then Sesshoumaru's and fell in untamed waves to his waist, giving him even more of an unruly and carefree appearance. Sesshoumaru's hair was silvered and pin straight, held back in a tight pony-tail and would probably fall to his knees. Sesshoumaru was pale and Inuyasha was tanned.

There was something about Sesshoumaru's emotionless and sophisticatedly cold demeanor that made you want to touch him because his eyes would constantly betray his stoic façade. Inuyasha's appeal was to the school-girl part of every woman. He was probably the popular bad boy in his schooling years and had girls pining over him secretly and… not so secretly. His carefree, free-spirited attitude towards just everything was more than just attractive. He had that magnetic bad-boy demeanor that no girl could refuse.

It was still early in the day, approximately one-o-clock, when I returned to the apartment. I was tired and wanted to eat some ice cream and just sit around a bit. Once I got in the apartment I sat down on the couch and I guess I must have been more tired than I thought I was because I fell asleep immediately.

I woke up the next day late in the morning more tired than I was when I fell asleep. It was strange. I was wearing a sundress when I woke up and my hair was all up in a messy bun. I didn't remember changing my clothes or my hairstyle. I shook my head and disregarded it. Maybe I had gotten up and changed with the intentions of going somewhere but fell asleep again. I brushed it off as that and checked my messages. There was a message from Shippou stating that he'd be back in a few days and not to worry about him. So I didn't. The note that I had left on the counter the other morning was still there. So I threw it away.

I made myself some ramen and ate alone, curled up on the couch watching _Pirates of the Caribbean_. Johnny Depp is so hot. But then I thought back to the two men I had met yesterday. I had spent my entire morning with them just eating and talking about random things. Sesshoumaru didn't speak much but when he did he was straight to the point. Inuyasha, on the other hand, had plenty of ideas to put out there and I didn't mind hearing them. His brash and blunt ways of saying things was refreshing.

I brushed my teeth and took a shower before putting on a long, flowy blue skirt with a white tank top and white sandals. It was too hot outside for jeans. I learned that yesterday but had silently suffered through it and I wasn't about to make the same mistake again. Oh, how very cruel and ironic it would be if a cold front had come in last night and it were suddenly icy outside. I laughed and shook the thought from my head.

The message machine was beeping again when I was about to leave. The phone must have rang while I was in the shower. I pushed the button and listened to the message.

"Uh… hey…" Said a voice that sounded familiar. "It's Inuyasha Takashi. You know, that stud you met yesterday." He laughed nervously and then paused. "Uh, I know it's short notice and all but I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight. If you do then come to the club Eden at seven tonight…."

Beep.

_He wants to have dinner?… With me?_

I practically jumped for joy. I was so happy. I must have made quite the impression on this guy to have him asking me out to dinner already. And I was going to take him up on his dinner invitation. What could I say? A hot, carefree, business man just asked me out on a date! How could I refuse such an irresistible offer?

I couldn't. I had to go. At that moment I heard the door slam and was jerked out of my thoughts. I whipped my head up and looked around. No one. The door to the bedroom that Sango and Kirara shared slammed. What the hell was going on? I walked over to the door and knocked lightly.

"What?" Sango's voice came through the door.

"You alright, sis?" I asked quietly.

I heard a sob and frowned. "I'm fine Kagome. Just.. Miroku is being a jackass again."

"Alright. Well. I'm going out. Later, sis." I said. There wasn't anything that I could do. Whenever Sango got upset like that I just had to let her cool off and go through the motions. Kirara, Kikyou, and I all went through the same motions. We would lock ourselves in our room, cry for a couple hours, and then watch a mushy chick-flick with a carton of ice cream. After that we'd be perfectly fine.

I checked the clock. It was two thirty. Not too late to go out and grab a small bite to eat before shopping for the perfect outfit. I didn't want to look good for this date. I wanted to look absolutely drop dead gorgeous!

I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. I bumped into Kikyou in the hall. We laughed nervously and said sorry in unison. We danced a bit, stepping from side to side until I finally just grabbed her shoulders and we turned, switching spots. I nodded and turned on my heel to walk to the elevator. A man with a little white fluffy dog on a leash was looking at me weirdly. I glared at him and jabbed the button for the elevator. It took a moment, but there was a 'ding' and the doors scraped opened. Happy to get away from the weird man with the dog I hurriedly stepped into the elevator. Why was he looking at me funny? I repetitively jabbed the button for the first floor. The man was still looking at me oddly, it was making me uncomfortable, and these damned doors were taking way to long to close! Ugh!


	2. Ch2: Dating Sequence

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (hahaha… unfortunately it's true)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**A/N: Really! I don't know. But R&R Please!**

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**Chapter Two: Dating Sequence**

I had finished shopping by four thirty and was just getting back to the apartment. I could hear the emptiness of the apartment. I decided to take that as a good sign. Sango and Kikyou must have left to go somewhere together. Maybe Sango had gotten over the Miroku thing before the chick-flick marathon. Maybe he had called her and she went out with Kikyou to meet up with him somewhere? Well… whatever.

I hopped in the shower. I wanted to feel fresh and ready to go when I met Inuyasha at the club, not like I just spent the day running errands in the scorching heat. So I quickly finished my shower and worked on my hair. I couldn't decide whether to put it up or just to leave it down. So… I just left it down. I gave it more volume by using a curling iron. I didn't _curl_ it, per say, but I made it a lot more wavy. I looked best like that, I thought. I simply remained naked, walking around in my room like that. I was comfortable and once I got to the club I would still feel just as clean as I did when I had gotten out of the shower. Only my hair would be dry. I didn't add any foundation, but I did put on thin eyeliner, a little bit of mascara, and pinkish lip gloss. I slipped into a pad less pushup bra and a thong before putting on the dress I had bought.

I didn't know if it was formal, but meeting at a club to have a few drinks then going off to have dinner sounded formal to me. So I went in between. A simple little black dress. It was short, down to the middle of my thigh, and had a sort of wave happening at the bottom, making it flirty. Flirty, but not slutty. It's straps were an inch in width and fluidly fell into a low cut back and a low scoop in the front. Low, sure, but not too low. It fit me perfectly, showing off just the right amount of my curves and still leaving plenty to the imagination. It had dark red stitching so I went with my heels that I hardly ever wear. Sure, they were comfortable, but I usually just never had anything to wear them with. They were black, five inch spiked heels and, instead of having a thin strap buckled around your ankle, it had a long sheer crimson piece of cloth that was meant to wrap around your ankle and halfway up your calf, like a ballerina. It was cute, or at least I thought it was. And I had bought a purse today that would compliment both my dress and shoes. It was black with deep red stitching and sheer material decorating the strap of the small bag. I never liked those regular sized purses, I always found them to be too big. And so I made use of the tiny purses as best I could. I hated carrying things and wouldn't have brought a purse with me if I hadn't deemed it necessary.

By the time I was ready to go it was 6:30pm. I was worried that I was going to be late. Earlier today I had driven over to club Eden just to make sure that I knew where it was so I wouldn't get lost on the way there later tonight. Now I was nervous. I didn't want to be late. Not to mention that I was a very punctual person, much like a businessman. Not like usual girls who take their time to get to the destination if the guy doesn't pick them up simply because that's how all cliché dates begin if the girl had to drive there by herself. They were, in a sense, _expected_ to be late if the guy didn't come to pick them up. And anyways, this Inuyasha guy didn't know where I lived and I wasn't about to tell him. _After all, I just met him yesterday… So why am I going out with him tonight? Was I that attracted to him? _I shook my head and pulled myself out of my thoughts. I didn't have time to just stand here and lose myself in my thoughts. I had to go or else I'd be late. I grabbed my keys and hurried out the door, locking it behind me.

I forgot to leave a note but I didn't have time to go back and scribble one down. They'd have to worry about me just for tonight. When I reached the elevator and jabbed the button impatiently I felt someone staring at me. I turned and that old man from earlier today was there again. Again with that same fluffy white dog on the end of it's tattered brown leash. He just stared and stared and stared at me. What was his problem? I frowned and turned back to the elevator. 'Ding', the doors opened to emit me into the elevator and my escape from the strange man. I jabbed the first floor button and then jabbed the 'Close Doors' button. I waited, perhaps, half a second and jabbed the first floor button again. Gah!

I finally made it to my car and I practically floored it to get out of the parking lot. I was still irked by the way the old man had been looking at me. As if I were crazy. If you asked me, I think he was the crazy one. Staring at me like that. Oh, but his fluffy little pooch was so cute… Poor little poochie-poo, getting stuck with such a strange old man. I guess he needed the company.

I began to calm down a bit once I reached the first light, slowing to a stop at the intersection and waiting. I started thinking about the date again and I was so nervous that I was clutching the steering wheel as if it were a life line. If I let go my hands would probably be shaking. I needed to shake off these nerves. _Come on Kagome! You've been on a date before. It's just a drink and a dinner date. Shake it off! Shake it off, girl, you can do this._ The light turned green and I hadn't noticed. The car behind me honked and I jumped, quickly pushing on the gas peddle and not making any comments about how rude the guy behind me was. After all, I wasn't paying attention.

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So I arrived at club Eden at 6:58pm. Go me. It gave me a minute and a half to park. Easy, right?… Nope. It took me two passes and then I just decided to park in the next parking lot over, which happened to be Burger King. I got out of the car and quickly walked through a huge gap in the bushes between the two parking lots. Making my way to the front of the building, I noticed that he wasn't here yet. I couldn't blame him. After all, women were infamous for being late so I guess he supposed that he had a few extra minutes. That was alright by me.

I checked the thin, oval watch that was fitted perfectly on my left wrist. I watched as the minute hand and second hand both moved to point straight up at the twelve at the same time. I smiled at the fact that I had arrived exactly at 7:00pm. Looking up and checking over the crowd outside, I realized that he wasn't out here and that maybe he was inside. I smiled brightly at the two men at the front of the line and they gladly let me cut in front of them. I quickly paid my way in and lost the two in the midst of the crowd. I looked over the people in here. No sign of him yet.

I moved over to the bar and just as I was about to sit down on the stool I felt a warm hand gently land on my shoulder. I looked behind me and there he was, so very handsome that it made me want to just jump him right then and there. But I didn't. I knew better. I smiled and glanced down at my watch as I turned to face him.

"You're two minutes late, Inuyasha-sama." I said softly, but loud enough for him to hear me.

"Oh. Am I? I didn't realize. Usually I am quite punctual." He assured me then moved to the side and motioned behind him. There was his elder half-brother, Sesshoumaru, with a woman rather desperately clinging to his arm. I stared at her for a long while.

She was beautiful enough. Her dark hair pulled into a nice bun, decorated with two golden feathers and some dangly things. Her earrings were gold and had dangling feathers from them. They were so long that they lightly brushed the tops of her shoulders whenever she moved her head. She had bright red eyes and thick eyeliner and mascara, bright red lipstick, and a little bit of blush. A golden necklace rested around her neck with a single feather hanging off of it. What was with this woman and feathers? Her dress was black and red and purple accented with gold trim. It was quite elegant and reached down to her knees. She was wearing simple black and gold heels. She had this look that said 'He's mine so back off, bitch.' in her eyes as she clung desperately to Sesshoumaru some more.

I looked away, disgusted at the sight of a woman acting so degradingly. It made all women look bad. This just couldn't be his taste in women, but if it was then so be it and may Kami save him. I wasn't going to be the one to try and change that. After all, clingy women like her had to have _somewhere_ to go.

"Kagome-sama, this is Kagura-sama. I hope you don't mind Sesshoumaru and her joining in." Inuyasha said and gave me an apologetic look. I guess he caught my reaction to Kagura.

I smiled sweetly and held out my hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kagura-sama." I said respectfully. But when she didn't take my hand I just let it drop to my side, feeling a bit out of place. _What am I doing?_ "Uhm. Yeah. A double date sounds great, Inuyasha-sama. The more the merrier, right?" _I don't belong with these people. They're political people. Clean cut, extremely sophisticated business people. Why am I here? I don't belong here with them._

I frowned. I felt out of place and awkward with them now. Maybe it was just Kagura's presence. Maybe it was the sudden realization that I would never fit in with them, no matter what. I don't think that I would be able to go to a political party with Inuyasha and not feel sick. No matter how much I like Inuyasha and no matter how much he might want it. I couldn't. I was a simple, carefree girl who loved working in a book store and who lived in a not-so-great apartment with four siblings. I couldn't see a future for me and Inuyasha. We were just too different. And just as I began to panic, Inuyasha leaned close to me and whispered in my hear.

"Calm down, Kagome-sama, I can see you're tense. Sesshoumaru and I are the same as yesterday. Just be the high-spirited, lovely Kagome-sama that I met yesterday, okay?" Wow, this guy really did know how to make a girl feel good, even with a simple comment like that. It wasn't what he said, I determined, it was the way he said it.

I nodded a bit and smiled sweetly. "So, Sesshoumaru-sama, Inuyasha-sama, what did you have in mind for the night?"

"First, have a few drinks and then go downtown to this exquisite restaurant that we came across the other day. What was the name of it, Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha asked.

"Blue." Sesshoumaru said. He didn't look too happy with his predicament at the moment. He glanced down at Kagura and then looked over to me. His expression seemed to change dramatically when his molten gold eyes trailed down my body. I ignored it as best I could but blushed anyway, it was almost as if he were touching me with his eyes. Inuyasha didn't have that effect on me. Why?

I looked up at Inuyasha as he grabbed my hand and led us over to a nearby table. Lucky-lucky, every single other table was filled and there weren't any seats left at the bar. We sat and Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha both figured out what we wanted before leaving to get it from the bar. I guess Kagura had decided to give me a chance because she gave me a somewhat friendly look and spoke.

"So, Kagome-sama, what do you do for a living?" She asked in a suave voice, it wasn't melodic or nice to listen to but it was still smooth.

"As in a job?" I asked and when she nodded slightly I continued, "Oh. It's nothing great at all. I work in a book store."

"Oh?" Something flashed in her eyes. I think it was amusement. And when she spoke again, I could tell what it was perfectly. "Glorious. Which one?" She was laughing at me! That stupid bitch was laughing at me.

"Borders." I replied. I made that one word sound harsh and short.

I saw the anger cross over her face and before she could say anything, Sesshoumaru was standing next to the table. He set her vodka-martini in front of her and his whisky next to hers. He gave me a strange look and before he had even fully sat down again, she had thrown her arms around his arm again and nuzzled against his shoulder. As if saying 'I got the better one.' I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama, thank you." She cried. How dramatic.

Inuyasha arrived back at that moment and gave her and odd look. Sesshoumaru didn't look very happy at all. No, he looked disgusted and upset. Inuyasha set my Sex On The Beach in front of me and sat down with his scotch in hand. I smiled and nodded my thanks to him. He seemed quite satisfied with that, and if I wasn't mistaken I thought I saw jealousy flash across Sesshoumaru's face.

"So, how was your day, Kagome-sama." Inuyasha asked, attempting conversation.

"It was fine. I woke up with a bit of a headache but when I checked my voicemail it seemed to go away instantly." I said it as if it were a miracle.

He laughed and smirked. It was oh-so-sexy. I melted and secretly gushed. Sesshoumaru looked amused, but it didn't last as Kagura desperately attempted to gain back his attention.

"How about you? How was your day, Inu?" I asked… then froze and blushed deeply. "I mean, Inuyasha-sama." _Kami, girl, you've only known him for one day._

He gave me a look that said 'don't apologize' but didn't say anything about it. "Oh. It was fine. Boring. Just like every other day. It felt strangely empty when I went to breakfast with Sesshoumaru. I had half expected to run into a delightfully gorgeous woman. But, alas, it was not so." He said, he had a theatrical quality to his voice that made it overly-dramatic. It was cute!

I sipped on my Sex On The Beach and missed what Inuyasha said, but he was speaking to his brother in what I guess was an attempt to drag him into our conversation.

We finished two more drinks, Kagura filling up our conversation with her supposed dreadful day. I couldn't help but notice that Sesshoumaru hadn't said very much since he got here. Maybe one or two word here or there. But that was just the way he was. Then we were off to the restaurant. Inuyasha and I went alone in his car and Kagura went with Sesshoumaru. I was relieved to get away from Kagura. I didn't mind Sesshoumaru's presence, but she was just plain annoying.

Inuyasha smiled and asked how it was going and if I was alright. I had never met a guy so… interested in how I was.

"This is great. I'm having fun, Inuyasha-sama, and I couldn't think of how to make this night any better." I answered. I was being half honest.

He frowned and looked at me for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. "Lies." Was all he said.

"What?"

"You can think of a way to make this night better." He stated, definitely.

"Oh? And how do you think?" I asked.

"Oh… we could always just… I don't know… suddenly lose Kagura." He said, smiling, "And Sesshoumaru."

"I don't mind Sesshoumaru." I blurted out. I felt extremely stupid for it because he gave me a look that I couldn't decipher. "What I mean," I attempted to fix my mistake, "is that if Sesshoumaru were to stay it'd be fine, but if he were to leave then I'd be immensely happy to have some one-on-one contact with you."

He blushed a little. It was just barely, but I could still tell. I smiled triumphantly. I made the big tough businessman blush. Point for my team.

Anyways, we ended up having a wonderful night. And, no, we didn't bail on Sesshoumaru and Kagura. I just thought that it would be too mean, leaving Sesshoumaru to deal with that wretched woman without some sort of relief. I couldn't understand why he was going out with her if he disliked her so much. I found out it was because his father had paired him up with her and wanted them to get to know each other before the wedding. Ok, I know what you're thinking. 'What wedding?' So it turned out that Sesshoumaru's father had agreed to wed his eldest son to his business partner's only daughter and merge their companies. So he _had _to go through with it. But it didn't mean he had to like it. And he was clearly hating it.

We had a relatively nice conversation about the health of the world's environment and how they were cutting down all the forests. We talked about politics, even though I didn't know much about it. But Inuyasha was sweet and explained everything that I didn't understand to me. So I got the gist of it. Inuyasha drove me home and, needless to say, we hit it off. Now, don't get the wrong idea, I am not usually the type of girl to do anything more than kiss a guy on the first date. But something happened, I don't know what it was, but it was _something_ that sparked between us.

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**A/N: Read and Review, please! And thankyou to everyone who has reviewed. :D**


	3. Ch3: Lonely Mornings

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (Me: Whaaaa! _Inuyasha: Ahh! Shut up, baka_! Me: Eep!)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**A/N: Did someone just say lemon? Lemon!... Nope. No lemons.**

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**Chapter Three: Lonely Mornings**

We stepped out the elevator, smiling and laughing about a corny joke that Inuyasha had just told me. It was stupid and I was mostly laughing at the funny faces that he had been making during the joke. But he didn't have to know that. We held hands and just stayed in silence for a moment as we walked towards my apartment door.

"Hm. Where did you hear that joke, anyways?" I asked.

I felt a presence other than our own and glanced up, that STUPID old man was STILL there… what was with this guy? I moved a bit closer to Inuyasha. The guy was really giving me the creeps.

"Oh. It was just a joke that my father used to always tell. It's stupid, hardly funny, but for some reason everyone always laughs at it." He said and I looked up at him. He glanced off in the direction that I had been staring at and confusion seemed to settle in on him.

I looked back over to where the old man had been standing. He was gone. He must have gone back into his apartment. 'Bout time.

"What were you lookin' at?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and giving me a light squeeze.

"Oh. Nothing. Here we are." I said and dug around in my tiny purse.

Kami! Why is it that all purses are like black holes? It doesn't matter the size of the purse. No. It's just a fact that it always takes at least five minutes for a woman to find what she is looking for. I didn't want to be standing there like some kind of idiot digging around in a tiny purse for my keys. But, regardless, I was very sure that I was going to end up doing that anyways. I could already feel a light blush spreading across my cheeks. I was panicking but Inuyasha seemed completely content to just stand there and wait for however long it took for me to find those darn keys. It made me a bit more calm. Perhaps he knew of the purse-curse and thus chose not to be affected by it. I was staring to get nervous.

So you must imagine how very relieved I was when I found my keys within the first minute of the search. Was it a miracle? Perhaps. I was just happy that I didn't have to make a fool of myself desperately searching around in my tiny purse for a set of keys that took up most of the space in there anyways.

But I did, after all, say that all purses were like little black holes.

I opened the door and was even more relieved that the apartment appeared to be empty. So there wouldn't be any disturbances. And it was exactly how I left it. Clean. No messy apartments for me. I just could not deal with a messy apartment. If things weren't organized I think I'd pass out from hyperventilation. Stupid, sure, but me having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder of sorts, I just could not get enough of cleanliness or organization. Not since I was little. Kikyou, on the other hand, was something to be dealt with. She was messy, and so was Sango and Kirara. But they learned to keep their belongings in order, quite possibly out of fear that I'd simply put it in order for them… and then perhaps borrow anything of theirs that I felt I needed. And if you noticed that I didn't add Shippou in there. Well… that's simply because he's too gay to be messy. It'd take away from his flamboyant gayness.

Despite his sexual orientation, I love Shippou the way a sister should love her little brother. The boy was simply great.

I came back into reality and glanced over at Inuyasha to see if he noticed the fact that I zoned out. It must have been a rather short moment, either that or he was simply just very patient. I beckoned for him to come in.

"Sit. Stand. Dance around in your underwear. Do whatever. Make yourself at home." I smiled sweetly and wandered into the kitchen to get us drinks.

We had a mini pub in our kitchen. Seriously. As in, a lot of alcohol. Simply because Sango and Kikyou both went through a short period of alcoholism. You know… Broken hearts. Drowning out their misery. I had bought all the liquor because I didn't want them going out into bars and getting taken advantage of or something. The thought scared me. So I simply made it so that they could get drunk and pass out here instead of on the street.

"Do you want something to drink?" I called from the kitchen.

He didn't answer me and just as I was about to walk out of the kitchen to see where he had gone, he walked in. He had taken off his suit jacket and tie. The top couple buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. He had put his hair up into a loose pony tail at the nape of his neck. I simply stared at him, my mouth slightly hanging open. He walked over and lightly pushed my chip upwards with his fingertips, closing my mouth. I was horrified when I realized how I was gaping at him like a fish. I flushed and turned to face the cabinets, flustered. My back to him.

"Want something to drink?" I asked again, lightly, as I opened the door to the cabinet and took out two glasses.

"Sure. Have anything alcoholic?" He asked. I turned to face him, a grin spreading across my lips.

And, Kami, he looked so delicious right now. His golden eyes steadily focused on me as he leaned against the counter rather lazily. I simply nodded and motioned towards the cabinet on the other side of the kitchen. It looked out of place. Only because it was solely for the purpose of storing our liquor. He moved over to it and opened the doors. And I guess he was expecting to only see a few bottles in there of soft liquor. But it was filled to the brim with, quite possibly, every liquor you could think of.

"Kami." He mumbled and glance back at me. "Drink much?" Sarcasm was dripping from his voice. And it was still sexy.

"Nope. Not at all, actually. Or at least not often and only in small quantities" I said. I realized I half rambled it. I really needed to stop doing that. And I don't drink, by the way. Honest! To tell the truth, I don't hold my liquor well.

"Ah hah." He gave me an incredulous look before looking through the Cabinet of Alcoholism. He pulled out a bottle and stood up straight, almost rigidly. "You have Absthine?"

"Uh. I guess so." I said and shrugged a bit. I didn't know what it was. I'm not the one that went liquor shopping last, just the one that supplied the money for it.

"Ever drank it before?" He asked.

I shook my head 'no'. "Never. It's really strong, isn't it?"

He nodded slowly as I watched him scan over the ingredients. "Wow."

I laughed and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and resting my cheek against his back. The two small glass cups still in my hands. He wasn't as tall as his brother, but he was still quite a bit taller than me. My nose came to his shoulder. So for him to actually look at me, he had to tilt his head downwards.

He made a light ,"Hnn." sound and I pulled myself close to him. I guess that I surprised him. "K-kagome." He stuttered, leaving off the formality. I was glad. We were in private, after all, and there was no need for titles.

"Inuyasha." I pulled away from him and moved around in front of him, gingerly taking the bottle of Absthine from his hand. And he let me take it.

I turned from him and moved over to the counter, filling both of the glasses 1/3 of the way with Absthine. I was blushing lightly the time, doing my best to make it go away. I don't know what had come over me. I was just so attracted to him that I had to touch him, I guess. I picked up one of the glasses and handed it to him before picking up my own glass and the bottle of alcohol in my free hand. I moved to put it away but he gently took it from my hand. I gave him a quizzical glance.

"Lets just bring this with us, shall we?" He said softly and I nodded. I followed him back into the living room.

We sat on the couch, talking as we sipped our high alcoholic beverages. As the night went on we continued to drink and talk and eventually ended up watching a scary movie. The Grudge. I ended up jumping and clinging to him out of fear when the dead girl just popped out of no where in the beginning. Inuyasha laughed at me and wrapped his arms around me. I attempted to be mad at him, but just couldn't.

--

I woke up from the bright sunlight shinning on my face. I opened my eyes, groggy and shielding my eyes from the offending light. It was so harsh and I felt miserable. Is this what it feels like to have a hang over?

I licked my lips and could just barely take the remains of alcohol. I rolled over onto the other side of the bed, which was still shrouded in shadow. It held the light remains of someone's body heat. I snuggled into the sheets on that side of the bed and buried my face in the pillow, taking a deep breath before letting it out in a long sigh.

I quickly blinked open my eyes and sat up, my head swimming. But I ignored it my on-coming migrain. This… This pillow smelt like… who? I blinked and stared at the pillow.

…_Inuyasha_…

_KAMI!_ Everything from the previous night came rushing back into my mind, as if a dam inside my head had just been blown to bits. It hurt, to remember everything all at once. I rubbed my temples. I had thought that last night had been a dream. Merely a dream. Nothing more. Something like that couldn't happen between me and such a handsome man. A very sexy man…

_A very drunk man._

I smiled to myself and laid back down. Curling up and wrapping the sheets around my naked body as I breathed in the scent that his body had left on the pillow and bed. I almost laughed as I remembered how he held me when the stupid movie freaked me out and how I had drunkenly asked him if he would make sure that no scary undead girls would eat me. He had laughed softly and kissed me then.

Then… everything led on from then. From what I could remember he wasn't very drunk. On the other hand, I was gone. Completely. If I had drank anymore then I would have passed out. Like I said before, I don't hold my liquor very well.

We hadn't even drank that much. But then again Absthine is VERY alcoholic.

Anyways.

I laid there in bed, reveling in all my sexual glory. I was slightly ashamed of myself in the back of my mind for doing such a thing. After all… I had just met this man two days ago. So I should be ashamed. But I could feel myself falling fast. How could someone feel this way about someone in such a short amount of time? I lightly touched my lips, they felt swollen and hot. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

It was time to get up. So I did. I slowly stood, my head swimming again. The dimness of the room was even to bright. I grimaced and quickly moved over to my vanity, ignoring the dizzy pain that was swirling around my head. I pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slipped them on. I went into the bathroom and took a shower and got ready for the day.

Inuyasha hadn't been my first. No. He had been my second. My first was a boy named Hojo. I had utterly loved this guy. We had been high school sweet hearts and when we graduated he had proposed to me. Then, just seven months ago, he broke it off.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO-Flash Back-OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

_Our wedding day. I was in my room, fussing over my hair. I wanted to look perfect for him. I was so happy to be getting married to such a great man. I loved him and that would never change. Then it came. My mother rushed into the room and said that no one could find Hojo._

_I couldn't believe it. Everyone did everything to find him. I changed out of my wedding dress and joined in on the search. We spent the entire day and half of the night searching for him. I cried myself to sleep and then I don't remember much until recently, minus last night._

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO-End Flash Back-OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Needless to say, I was devastated.

So, I felt just as crappy when I got out of the shower as when I got in. My hang over had lightened up a bit. But the memories brought back unwanted feelings. I got dressed and checked the time. It was almost noon. Good. I wouldn't be late for work. Just as I was about to leave I found a note. It was from Inuyasha. I smiled and the grim thoughts of my first love vanished from my mind almost instantly.

I unfolded the note and it read:

"_Kagome,_

_I'm sorry that you woke up to an empty bed. I was called into work. I would call you later tonight but I don't know if you have work or not today. So call me whenever you get the chance._

_-Inuyasha"_

I smiled and went into my room. I slipped the note into the middle of my diary before running out to go to work.

--

I woke up. It was still dark outside and I couldn't quite understand why I was waking up so early. I glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand. It read 5:14am. I blinked and stared at it for a long time. Then I heard it. It sounded like someone was knocking. Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed and pulled on my silk robe. After all, I couldn't answer the door when I'm only wearing my underwear. I tied it tightly around my waist as I quietly made my way through the apartment. Another light knock.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I grimaced. What the hell was someone doing at my door at five in the morning? I ran my fingers through my hair, straightening it out a bit. Feeling utterly miserable and exhausted was no reason to answer the door looking like I just got hit by a bus. I glanced in the mirror that was hanging next to the front door. I didn't look too bad now that my hair wasn't sticking out in every which direction.

Another knock. I opened the door and was instantly blinded by the brightness in the hallway. The lights were on, of course. They were dim but still significantly brighter than it was inside of my apartment. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the difference in the lighting and to focus. But when they did I was confused.

"Miroku?" I asked, completely confused.

"Hi, Kagome!" He said sweetly and moved to grab my hand. I pulled it away from him.

"Why are you here so early in the morning?" I asked, grumpy.

"Ah. Well, I'm here for my beloved Sango, of course! Where is she!" He said happily. Why the heck was he so happy? It was five in the morning, what was there to possibly be happy about? "Saaaaaango!" He said loudly in a sing-song voice to the apartment.

"Shh! Shh! I'll go get her. You stay here." I said and closed the door in his face, but I thought I could hear him calling me an sweet angel or something. I walked over to Sango and Kirara's room and poked my head in. "Sango!"

"Uhnn." Was the response I got.

"You're beloved boyfriend is here, Sango, come on! Get up and go so he'll leave me alone." I said loudly before marching back to my room and going back to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with the grim realization that I had forgotten to call Inuyasha. I check the time. It was 11:00AM. I was sure that he was awake. I picked up the phone and pulled the note that he had left out of my diary. I quickly dialed his number. It rang four times before he picked up.

We made plans to go out to the movies that night. Scary Movie 4. Despite the fact that it was a rather stupid movie we still enjoyed ourselves. I had decided earlier to take it slow with him, of course despite the fact that we had already slept together. I spent the afternoon kicking myself for that one, by the way. But he agreed that we should take it slow. That we should 'start over'. Pretend that we didn't sleep together after our first date and then maybe wait until the fourth or fifth date to do such again. I had smiled at him and said 'It's a plan!'

I couldn't believe that I could meet a guy that was so good to me as Inuyasha. He was loyal and a little bit over protective. But I liked it that way. Though, I do think that he is a bit fast to jump the gun. Especially around my childhood friend, Kouga. Then again, that was understandable seeing as Kouga had developed the bad habit of calling me his '_Woh-man' _at the end of middle school.

Needless to say, though, we were completely happy with each other. _Happy. Happy. Happy. Oh, good day!_ Though… I can honestly say that I still don't understand anything about politics even though he has explained it to me countless times. My sisters has caught me dancing around in my underwear more often than usual. I still haven't told them about Inuyasha. Maybe I'm just greedy or overly paranoid. Though, I'd shoot for greedy because, even though I'm not sure of my reasoning behind not informing my sisters and brother of his status in my life, I think it'd be mostly because I don't want to share him. And I don't think I'd ever want to share something so great as him with anyone… Does that make me a bad person?

Because if it does then I'm not so sure that I care that I'm a bad person. I've always been nice to everyone. Always been giving and kind. I think I deserve this.

* * *

**A/N: There is no relationship issue, people. The pairing situations throughout the story is exactly as it is intended to be, so quit whining. R&R, please:D**


	4. Ch4: Becoming Undone

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (sigh…)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**A/N:R&R please! 3**

* * *

**ELUSIVELY ILLUSIVE LOVE**

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**-Chapter Four: Becoming Undone-**

I came home from work late. I had had to cancel the dinner date that I had planned with Inuyasha and had called and told him. I opened the door to the apartment and there was Kikyou standing there waiting for me. It made me jump. I smiled and closed the door behind me, setting my small backpack down on the small table by the door along with my keys before breezing past her, bee-lining for the kitchen. She trailed after me and stood silently in the doorway of the kitchen as I took a Red Bull out of the fridge. I could feel her eyes burning holes in the back of my shoulders. I ignored her. I popped open my Red Bull and walked past her out of the kitchen and went into my room. I didn't know why she was staring at me. She did that sometimes. Followed me around the apartment and just stared at me as if I were some sort of massive freak of nature. I drank my Red Bull while I read the rest of my book and then went to sleep.

Inuyasha and I had rescheduled our dinner date for the end of next week and the rest of this week and next week went rather blandly. It was just routine and I couldn't quite remember the days. The days seemed to be the same and went by in a hazy blur. But the week turned out to be so tiring. I had ended up working double shifts all week. Filling in for other people who weren't showing up to work. I didn't mind the extra money. Just the extra work. And by the time it was my date with Inuyasha I had almost forgotten about it. I was glad we were just going somewhere casual. I didn't feel like getting all dressed up for some fancy restaurant. Especially since I didn't have time to change my clothes after work. I did, after all, say that I had almost forgotten about our dinner date. I had just enough time, maybe five minutes, to go up to my apartment and freshen up a bit. But not enough time to get changed and do my hair or anything. Just enough to fix my make up and make sure my hair was sticking out in every which direction.

When he showed up at my door he was wearing a business suit. Work attire. And I suddenly felt underdressed in my blue polo shirt, black flares, and black sneakers. But he didn't seem to notice what I was wearing. He flashed me his amazing smile and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me and kissing me on the lips. It made me feel acceptable and lovely the way he looked at me with his golden-hazel eyes. Like I was the ultimate highlight of his day.

"Ready?" He asked, and I couldn't help but have a stupid smile on my face. I nodded and he just laughed as he pulled away from me. "Okay, then lets go."

We walked out of the door and I locked it behind me. Grabbing his hand and looking up at him as we walked to the elevator. "So, what's with the business suit? Isn't this a casual date?"

"Yeah. It's a casual date. I just didn't have time to change when I got back from work. And you know us business men. We like to be punctual, even if it means that we'll be overdressed." He said, laughing lightly.

"Ah. Well. I'd rather have a punctual, overdressed boyfriend than a casually dressed, late boyfriend." I smiled brightly and we stepped into the elevator after the doors scraped open. He jabbed the first floor button and the doors scraped shut.

Before the doors closed completely, I glanced down the hall. I didn't know why I did it at first but then realized that I had been expecting to see the weird old man with that fluffy white dog. Maybe he had died? I mean… I hadn't seen him in a while now. I used to see him in the hall all of the time. I mean, he would just stand out there and it seemed like no matter what time I would come out of my apartment he would be standing there staring at me. It's not that I missed him or anything. I never talked to him and I was sort of glad that he wasn't there.

"What's wrong?" Inuyasha asked, pulling me out of my thoughts about the strange old man. I guess I had a strange look on my face or something.

"Oh, nothing." I assured him.

"Really?" He gave me a quizzical look, as if he didn't quite believe me.

I smiled at him softly and nodded. "Really, Inuyasha, I'm fine."

"Alright." He said.

The doors to the elevator opened and we walked out to his car. He opened the door to the passenger side for me graciously and I got in. Once I was settled he closed the car door for me and got in the driver's seat. Once buckled in, you know the drill people- safety first-, he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. We had a great dinner at Long Horn Steak House, which was rather close to club Eden where I'd spent the beginning of my first date with him. We talked about our week and how things went. Told each other a few secrets about ourselves and laughed about the more ridiculous things that were happening in our lives. It turns out that Kagura now hates Sesshoumaru's guts and they've come to an agreement to still be able to date other people even though they're getting married to each other. I felt bad for Sesshoumaru that he would be forced to marry Kagura, but at least now he was able to freely date women of his liking and not be forcibly tied to that clingy woman forever.

The evening ended and I kissed Inuyasha goodnight before going upstairs and back to my apartment. I looked for the old man in the hallway again. I even thought about knocking on his door, but I didn't. I went into my apartment instead and went to sleep. It was late and I was tired. Happy but tired.

Inuyasha and I made plans to go watch a movie sometime next weekend before he left. We were going to see 'Over the Hedge'. I know, I know, it's a silly children's movie. But we like comedies. We both worked all week, long and hard. Putting in overtime for more money and when we went to see the movie we were, quite possibly, the happiest couple you could have seen in the movie theatre. We both liked the movie. It was stupid but so cute and funny that you had to like it.

It became a pattern for us to have a dinner date every other Friday night and then go to the movies every other Saturday. And if there weren't any good or new movies out, then we would rent a movie and watch it at my apartment. Sometimes even at his house. Which is a huge, huge house. He still lives with his parents and brother. But I think that's alright because the house is so huge that I couldn't picture him ever moving out of it. In fact, if we were to ever get married, I could actually picture me moving _into_ it. I mean. Why move away when you own your Father's company and already live in a grand house. I thought it was nice. My kids would be able to see their grandparents every day…

Wait. What was I thinking? Children? When did this happen? Am I really that happy?… The answer. Yes. I could picture marrying and having children with this guy. I think I love him. But I'm not sure yet. Not yet. And if I do love him then I guess I'm not ready to admit it yet. No… not yet.

Anyways. Like I was saying before I got sidetracked. We also see each other during lunch every now and then. When he's in the area he likes to take me to Subway or Quiznos'. I'm very.. No… completely happy with him. He makes me laugh and likes to pretend that he doesn't care every now and then. But I know he cares more than anything. And I care about him… a lot.

We've been dating for almost two months now. I ended up working a double shift on our dinner date Friday and had called and left a message on Inuyasha's cell phone and then called home and told Kikyou, who was home at the time, that I would be home late and not to worry. She happily replied with a "Of course, Kags! I love you sis and be safe!"

It wasn't like her to be so cheery. But I didn't have time to think about it. I went back to work. I ended up falling asleep in the break room and was woken up before closing time by my boss. She wasn't too happy with me but let it slide since I had been working doubles a lot lately. We said our goodbyes and then I headed home. I walked into the apartment and no one was there. Well. No one was awake anyways. I never saw much of Sango or Kirara these days. Not even much of Kikyou either. But when I walked into my bedroom and turned on my light I scream. A man was laying in my bed, asleep. I was completely confused. It was nearly midnight. No. It was past midnight and it was now nearly one-o-clock in the morning. What the hell was a man doing in my bed?

When I screamed the man sat up, wide eyed and obviously completely shocked and confused. I let out a stupid sounding laugh when I saw his white hair and gold eyes. It was Inuyasha. But what the hell was he doing in my bed? He looked up at me and slowly released the sheets from his death grip.

"Kagome." He sounded angry, but he didn't look angry. He looked scared. Then, before I could answer, he looked worried. All with the underlying expression of confusion. "What's the screaming all about? What's wrong."

I laughed again and shook my head. "I… What…" I just looked at him dumbly with a small, disbelieving smile on my face.

"How long ago did you get back?" He asked.

Get back from where? That's what I wanted to ask. But instead I opened my mouth and said "Just now."

"So, why'd you scream." He got out of the bed and smoothed back his hair. He was only wearing a pair of black, silky looking boxers an looked ubberly sexy. I just wanted to jump his bones right then and there. But I didn't. I wanted to know why he was in my bed at one in the morning.

"Uhm. I thought… I saw a rat." I said, dropping my mini backpack on the floor next to my dresser and placing my keys in a little glass bowl on top of my nightstand.

"Oh." He wrapped his arms around me and when I moved to face him he let me turn around. He kissed me on the lips and smiled softly at me, before giving me an odd look.

"That isn't what you were wearing when you left." He said.

"It's… it's not?" I raised a brow.

"No." He frowned.

"Okay. Well. There wasn't an Inuyasha in my bed when I left, either." I said.

He just looked at me, obviously confused. "What?"

"Why are you here, Inu? How'd you get in? What's going on?" I asked.

"What do you mean? You let me in. We went do dinner and then you let me in. Kags, you've been acting weird all night. What's wrong? What's going on?" He asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"What do you mean that _I've been acting weird_? I've been at work all night. I called and left a message on your cell phone telling you that I couldn't make it to dinner tonight because I had to close. And-"

He cut me off "No you didn't."

"Yes I did! Check your messages!"

"Well, yeah. You told me that you called and to ignore it."

"What?" Okay… now I was confused.

"You told me that you called and to ignore it." He repeated.

"Oh… my god." It dawned on me then. I couldn't believe that it hadn't hit me before. Kikyou had posed as me to… "Uh, Inu.. Did we, uh…"

"Have sex?" He finished for me. I just nodded. And he laughed. "Yes. Why else would I be in your bed wearing only my boxers? You told me to put them on in case any of your sisters just decided to barge on into your room while I was here."

"Oh. Uh. Inu. That wasn't me." I frowned and paced in front of him.

"What? Of course it was you, Kags. I mean, it looked exactly like… you…" He stared at me. "Don't tell me.."

"It was Kikyou. You!" I glared at him, pointing at him accusingly. "You slept with my sister!" I yelled.

"I didn't know it wasn't you, Kags! I swear!" He said, jumping to his feet.

"You slept with my twin sister! Just because we're twins doesn't mean that we're identical! We don't look exactly alike. She has darker eyes than me! She had different hair than me! How could you mistake her for me! She acts different!" I yelled.

And he yelled back. "She tricked me! I wouldn't sleep with her on purpose!"

"And I'm supposed to believe you?" I folded my arms across my chest.

After a long moment of silence he quietly said, "Yes."

"Okay." I said.

"What?"

"I said 'Okay'. Kikyou isn't trustworthy sometimes. But I never thought she'd do this. I believe you." I said and sat down on my bed. He sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Hey.. You gunna be okay?" He asked, softly kissing my cheek.

"Yeah. I just need time to think." I said and looked over at him. He looked disheartened. "Not about you. I mean…" I blinked and stared at the floor. "About what I'm going to say to Kikyou. I mean, I have to confront her about this. I can't just let it slide." I said.

"Yeah. So I'll see you sometime during next week for lunch?" He said. He stood and started pulling his pants on. I waited until he zipped and buttoned them before answering him.

"Yeah." I was watching him put his shirt on, and then his socks and shoes. I was just sitting there, on the bed. It felt as if he were leaving me. But that what I said I had wanted. Him to leave for the night so I could think. It's not like we broke up. We were still together. So then why did it feel like I something was seriously wrong? Well… besides the fact that my sister had tricked him into sleeping with her?

He crawled over and stood up only on his knees in front of me, kissing my hands a couple times before resting his head on my lap. I messed with his hair a little bit before he stood up, and on the way up he lightly brushed his lips across mine in a chaste kiss. "I'll see you then. Call me, okay?"

"I will. I promise." And then I watched him walk to my door. Something was out of place. Something in my head was screaming at me to not let him leave. And yet when I opened my mouth to say no to go, to stay with me, instead I said "Lock the front door please."

And he said "I will." He closed the door to my bedroom and I heard the front door open and close. Then he was gone. It felt like my gut was twisted up in a tight ball. I felt like throwing up, but I didn't. I felt like crying, but I didn't do that either.

I just sat there on the edge of my bed, unmoving, for the next hour. Staring at my wall as if, if I were to move my world would completely shatter. And it might. So I just didn't move. I didn't move until I heard the front door open and close. I heard heels on the tile. Click-clacks getting closer and closer to my door. And then a pause. The doorknob turned.

I heard Kikyou say "Oh, Inu, my love, I'm back." In a sing song voice and I abruptly stood up to greet her. The door open and she closed it behind her. She was staring at the floor and said "Dear, why is the light on?" But stopped the last word short when she looked up and saw me. "Oh… Kags! Uhm… I…"

I walked up to her and smacked her in the face, causing her to drop the bags that she had been holding. Nothing spilled out of them and for that, I was somewhat glad about. "Bitch." I hissed.

"Kags! What the hell!" She shoved me backwards and stepped over the bags. I backed up to give her room.

"You slept with him! You slept with Inuyasha! How could you, Kik? How could you!" I yelled it in her face.

She froze, as if she were shocked or frightened. But then she visibly forced herself to relax and said in a bored tone. "Yeah? So? And what a nice lay he was, Kags."

"What the hell, Kikyou! Why?" I said. She opened her mouth and suddenly I just didn't want to know anymore. "No. Never mind. Just… Get out of my sight, Kikyou. The hell out of my sight."

"Fine!" She snapped and stomped out of my room. Out of the apartment, in fact. And I even think out of the apartment building. I don't know because I don't care where she went.

I closed my bedroom door and kicked the paper bags into the corner of my room. I didn't want to know what was in them. I changed into pajamas and went to sleep but I couldn't sleep. Not with the thought that Kikyou and Inuyasha had sex on my bed. Did they use protection? I grimace and got up and changed the sheets on my bed before going back to sleep.

I woke up to my cell phone ringing ten hours later. I guess I was more exhausted than I had first thought I was. I answered the phone groggily. "Hello?"

"Kagome?" It was Sesshoumaru.

"Yes?" I said, successfully keeping the annoyance out of my voice.

"You need to get over here." He said and then added, "Please." The last word was said quickly, as if he hated to have to say it.

"Where is here?" I asked, slowly getting out of bed and stretching.

"The Takashi residence. As soon as possible. Inuyasha wants to see you." He said.

"Why can't Inuyasha just tell me himself?" I asked.

"Because at this very moment he is busy." He said, each word was slightly cut short, his tone obviously annoyed.

"Alright, sorry. I'll be there ASAP." I said and hung up. I hardly say goodbye on the phone. I hope he wasn't offended.

I got up and took a quick five minute shower, pulled on jeans and a blue tank top before all but running down to my car and pulling out of the parking lot. Ten to twenty minutes later I pulled in the Takashi's driveway and knocked on their door. They're butler, Jaken, answered the door and let me in. He led me to the living room and went to 'fetch the young masters' for me. I was guessing that he meant Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. I was glancing through one of the magazines that were on the coffee table when I heard the door open. I looked up and there was Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha trailing along behind him.

Inuyasha had bruises blossoming across his cheek and down, along his jaw. His bottom lip had been split in two places and there was four ugly scratches that started at the middle of his forehead and went all the way down to his jaw, stopping only to pick up after a few centimeters of flawless skin every so often. He was grinning. I couldn't understand why he was grinning. He looked like he got attacked by some crazy woman with long nails, but he was grinning anyway. Sesshoumaru, however, didn't look amused at all. In fact, he looked more serious than ever. It was almost scary. They both sat down on the couch across from the huge seat that I had sat in. I felt so small and insignificant before the two of them. Sesshoumaru was dressed in what looked like to be a thousand dollar suit. Sitting in their extravagantly furnished ten-thousand dollar living room. Inuyasha, however, just had casual clothes on- jeans and a white t-shirt. I wonder if they knew how unimportant and tiny they made me feel?

Inuyasha pointed to his face, he was still grinning. "This is Kikyou's handy work. As you know, I don't hit women. So I just let her hit me." He said.

"What?" I just stared at him, my mouth slightly hanging open in disbelief. So he actually _was_ attacked by some crazy woman with long nails.

After a moment of silence, Inuyasha said "Kagome, you look like a shell-shocked fish."

I closed my mouth and glared at him. "I might not be as pissed off at Kikyou for attacking you if you keep that up, Inu."

"This isn't why I called you over here, Kagome." Sesshoumaru said.

I quirked a brow and spoke before he could continue. "I thought that you had said that Inuyasha wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes. I did. And I wasn't lying. He does want to talk to you about something. Because I want him to talk to you about it." He said matter-of-factly.

"Why do you want him to talk to me about it?" I asked and then added, "Whatever 'it' is."

"Because you deserve to know." He said and then elbowed Inuyasha.

Inuyasha glared at his brother and sighed. I looked at him and tilted my head to the side a bit, waiting for him to speak. "Kagome." He said, "I've been having an affair with Kikyou."

I just stared at him. I knew that something was wrong last night. So why didn't I see this coming? I should have known. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I forced them to go away. My eyes were stinging, but at least I wasn't crying. He didn't deserve my tears if he'd been cheating on me this entire time. But then… I was happy with him. I wanted to be with him always. Suddenly I was more angry with Sesshoumaru than I was with Inuyasha. He had caused everything to fall apart just now. He would be the cause of me and Inuyasha breaking up. Because Inuyasha would have stopped cheating on me after a while. He would have married me, wouldn't have he? We would have had children? Wouldn't have we?… Wouldn't have we?

I turned to look directly at Sesshoumaru but I spoke to Inuyasha. "Get out of my sight, Inuyasha. I want to talk to Sesshoumaru for a moment. Okay?"

"Fine." Inuyasha stood and walked out of the room. He didn't care if we stayed together, did he?… Did he?

I don't think he did. It didn't seem like he did.

"Why, Sesshoumaru? I was happy with Inuyasha. He would have stopped cheating on me after a while. He would've came around. So why ruin my happiness?" I snapped at him.

"Because you have a right to know that your boyfriend isn't being loyal. It's dishonorable for him to cheat on you." He said it like it was common knowledge. And it was. And I knew it already. So I didn't need him telling me that.

"I know that." I snapped. "I know that." I said again, softly this time. He ruined it all.

"Kagome, you're the first girl that Inuyasha has dated that I actually approve of and like. You're a nice girl. I just don't want to see you get hurt by my idiot brother." He said. And it was the softest I'd ever heard his voice.

I didn't say anything to him. I just stood up and walked out of the living room. I walked out of the house and to my car.

I drove home crying. I cried for the rest of the day until I dozed off on my bed. When I woke up later in the evening I thought about everything that happened and decided that I wasn't mad at Sesshoumaru. He was the only one who had been honest with me this entire time. So it wouldn't be fair for me to be mad at him for tell me the truth, it wouldn't make sense to. But I loved Inuyasha. So much. And it hurt to think that he would cheat on me with my sister. I didn't go to work that week, I called in sick. Instead I stayed home and cried and slept, not really eating until it was necessary.

I was miserable and pathetic. I did nothing but cry and sleep for seven days. And then when I started going to work again the next week, I wasn't ever really all there and couldn't concentrate. My boss had gotten mad at me more than one occasion and then, in the middle of the week, had ended up just telling me to go home for the rest of the week and not to come in until I was feeling like myself again. And I did. I went home and fell asleep.

I found that I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't cry and I didn't feel sad or depressed or upset. I just felt hollow and numb. Like I wasn't really there. I didn't live the days like I used to. Not with all the positive energy and happy smiles. No. I went through my days like just living was a job. I felt like an empty shell and if I really actually sat down and thought about it, I realized that I hadn't truly loved Hojo when I was with him and it was different with Inuyasha. It was different because I had loved him. Truthfully and completely loved him. But that didn't matter now because our relationship was over. He was off having a great time with Kikyou.

Yes, Kikyou. And every time I saw Kikyou I would glare at her and she would yell at me and tell me that I wasn't good enough for him to begin with. That she deserved him and I didn't. Before I knew it, a month had passed, and Kikyou was once more in my face yelling at me.

"Get over him!" She had told me, "Get over him and find someone else! There are billions of fish in the sea, Kagome. So get off your lazy ass and go catch on!" Me? Lazy?

I glared at her then but didn't say anything. She straightened her posture visibly and started pacing in front of me, continuing to yell at me that I shouldn't have even started dating him in the first place because I was worthless and that she was amazed that we lasted that long together.

And then I realized that she was right. There were plenty of fish in the sea. Just not enough that cared. But there was one fish that I already knew who did care. He did care and I wanted to talk to him. I stood up and walked into my room, leaving Kikyou behind to lecture the empty couch.

Closing the door behind me, I grabbed my cell phone and cuddled up on my bed. I wasn't quite completely sure that I wanted to call him. What if Inuyasha picked up his cell phone? Kikyou pounded on my door and I ignored her. I could hear Sango yelling at Kikyou to stop making so much noise and I could hear Kirara's hair blow drier running in the next room over. There were too many things going on. Too many noises. I dropped my cell phone on my bed and screamed into my pillow as loud as I could. Suddenly everything stopped. The talking, the movement, the banging on the door. All of the noise just stopped.

I was breathing heavily, as if I had just ran a mile. But I didn't pay it any attention. I slowly stood from my bed and opened my door. There was nothing there. And I mean absolutely nothing. My sisters were gone. All of the lights that had been on were off, and there wasn't anything going on in the kitchen or in Kirara and Sango's bedroom. Kikyou wasn't there yelling about how I do nothing all day and that I need to go to work more often.

"Hello?" I called quietly?

"Hello!" Someone echoed back from directly behind me. I screamed, short and sudden. I spun to face them but no one was there.

What the hell? Was this a dream? If it was then it was a nightmare and I wanted to wake up. But then I never could wake myself up from dreams, much less from nightmares.

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**A/N: Creepy, huh? I suppose so! I'll update as soon as I possibly can. Things have been hectic as of lately.**

**ThankYou For All Your Reviews. :)**


	5. Ch5: The Unraveling

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (Oh, how unfortunate that is!)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

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**Marionette: I took entirely too long to post this. My most sincere apologies. Please enjoy.**

_InuYasha: READ!!!_

_**Kagome: And review:D**_

Sesshoumaru: Yes.

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**ELUSIVELY ILLUSIVE LOVE**

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**-Chapter Five: The Unraveling-**

I woke up on a beach, sand all in my hair and clothes. But I didn't care. I didn't feel it. It wasn't any place that I recognized. I was lost and scared and cold, so very cold. I rubbed my arms as if it would help to warm me, but it wasn't the kind of cold that blankets or fire could thaw. It was that raw emotion inside. I felt cold on the inside, like a piece of me had broken somehow and my chest was hollow and icy. From where I stood I couldn't see any civilization at all and when I looked away from the crashing waves to look behind me, there was nothing. A vast blackness spread out before me like the universe with no stars and I was alone, so alone. So I turned back to the inky black waters, watched them crash up onto shore and recede back into itself only to crash back onto the shore again, foaming and angry.

I walked into the waves because it was something solid, something real to me that I'd seen before. Touched before. And I was too cowardly, too scared to even consider exploring the vast black void of nothingness that was behind me. The water rushed up around my legs to mid-calf and was just as icy as I felt inside. I looked down at the waters and realized that there was no color there. Realized that there was no longer life there. That these waters were dead, and still I waded farther out than I should have, and never did the waters come up past my knees. I was too afraid to call out, too afraid that I'd be truly alone. Or, maybe, too afraid that something not human might answer me.

I must have walked through the water for hours without any sign of life. Subtle waves caressing my skin as they went by, and I was vaguely aware that I couldn't feel my feet anymore. But I didn't care. Something told me to keep going. A little voice in my head. And then there was a scream, so loud and sudden that it stole the breath from my lungs in a sharp gasp. I worked my way towards the scream and found that it was me, on my knees in the icy black water huddled over someone. The person's arms thrashing wildly for a moment before they were merely pawing ineffectively at the water and at my clone's body. Then they ceased to move. All the while, I did nothing to stop her. Just watched with slightly widened eyes.

Then the clone of me stood, shivering and hugging herself as she turned to me. "You" she snapped, voice raspy and dry despite the fact that she was surrounded by who-knows how much water.

She came at me then, screaming and arms flailing. Her nails scratching along my face and when she plunged her hands into my hair and dunked me in the water I knew it was all over. I broke through the surface of the water and it felt like she was forcing me down into the core of an ice cube. Shattering the surface to submerge me. To kill me. And my body took on a chill that almost matched the icy feeling that I felt inside of myself. I thought, for just the merest moment, that this is it, this is the end. But she kept me down just long enough that when I came back up again I was coughing and shivering.

"You!" She hissed, a light mist of water sprayed from her lips to settle on my already wet face. And, still, despite the water, her voice was raspy and dry. "You killed them!"

"Wh... Wh-What? K-Killed who?" I sputtered. I was shivering uncontrollably now, my body shuddering involuntarily and I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried.

She stood and jerked me to my feet so suddenly that I would have fallen if she wasn't holding me by my hair, and even though it should have hurt I couldn't feel it. "Look!" She screamed, "Look what we've done! What you've made me do!" And she threw me forwards, towards the person she had just drowned.

I couldn't catch my balance, not with being shoved while knee-deep in ice cold water. I fell to my knees next to the body and screamed. It was Sango. Cold and dead, lips already blue. And I cried and screamed and pushed her away from me. But I didn't get a moment's rest. My clone was at my side, dragging me back to my feet again by my arm. I yanked it out of her grasp and stumbled, but still kept on my feet.

"Look!" She croaked, "Look!" and she made a sweeping motion with her hand as if she were displaying something. And it was then that I looked up and finally realized that we were surrounded with bodies. People that she... I... my clone had drowned. And I screamed and it wasn't until I finally stopped that I realized that I was crying. Crying because she had killed pieces of me, because I had killed pieces of me.

I moved through the bodies, going to each one individually to see who was who. And everyone was there. All of my siblings. Kikyou, Sango, Kirara, Shippou. Everyone except me. Except my clone. I turned on her, hands in trembling fists. "What have you done?!" I growled and then yelled, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

She held out her hands in front of her, palms up and fingers spread wide as she gave a little shrug. I grabbed her then, pulling her down into the water as she tried to shove me under.

"You've killed them!" I screamed, my voice hysterical, "You killed them!? Why? Why!"

I grabbed her by the hair and pushed her under the water and she clawed at me, screaming under the water. I felt her jerk when she took in a breath and her lungs filled with the icy water that I had submerged her in. And as I felt her fade away, dying slowly, I felt the coldness that had been growing ever larger inside of myself release and melt away to a fiery blaze. Then she was gone and a moment later I followed her.

The heat filled me up completely until I couldn't hold anymore, like a cup overflowing. It came out of my mouth, my nose, my eyes. And I screamed and screamed until my throat was raw. Screamed as fast as I could draw breath. The heat burst out of my fingertips and I screamed louder, if that was even possible. My chest burst from just too much of that fiery warmth, that scalding heat and I could feel it pouring out of every one of my pores. All I could see was the red hot heat that was leaking out of my eyes, and I tried to see something else. I looked around me and there was nothing. Nothing but me in a vast blackness. The water had gone, disappeared, poof. And I was writhing on the floor screaming and struggling to breathe as the heat poured out and out and out of me like a never ending river.

Then there was a dim glow. A sound of a fist knocking harshly on a door. Crashing. But all I could see was the heat coming out of my eyes and all I could really hear was my screaming and the faint sound of someone calling my name. I could feel someone grabbing my shoulders and squeezing so hard that it hurt. But I couldn't see them. Couldn't hear them well enough to know what was going on. And there was so much pain wracking through my body that I don't know if I would have been able to pay attention to what was going on outside of the pain anyways.

The bright red that clouded my vision, that was the heat that had been coming out of my eyes, dimmed and black swirled into view, eating away at my vision. I felt like I was floated and all that was left of the pain was a dull ache. I vaguely registered, in the back of my mind, that someone was cradling me. That someone was talking. But I couldn't see them. Couldn't hear them. Couldn't really feel them above the floating sensation. And I realized that I could just barely see again, through all the black swirls with no trace of red in my vision at all. The last thing I remember was a white glow. A white glow that seemed to say something to the effect of: "It's okay. Here I am. Don't be afraid.", and then there was nothing. Nothing but blackness.

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**A/N: That's actually kind of really sad, huh? Anyway. I'll try to update as soon as possible!**

**Thank You For All Your Reviews. :)**


	6. Ch6: Baffling Hospital Visit

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (...Unfortunately true...)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**_Kagome: Remember! Read and Review! We will you to!  
_**_InuYasha: Yes! WE WILL YOU TO! SUCCUMB TO OUR WILL POWER!  
_Sesshoumaru: If you would shut up, half-breed, then they would be able to get to reading the story.  
**_Kagome: Indeed! And reviewing it:D  
_**Sesshoumaru: Enjoy, pitiful mortals.

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**ELUSIVELY ILLUSIVE LOVE**

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**-Chapter Six: Baffling Hospital Visit-**

I woke up, groggy and completely drained. The lighting in the room was dim as I finally convinced myself to open my eyes. Rectangular fake white Styrofoam panels loomed over me, the rectangular light directly above her bed was turned off but all the other lights above that I could see out of my peripheral vision were blazing away. I stared up at the extremely unfamiliar ceiling and desperately attempted to remember what day it was. It was Friday, right?

For the life of me, I couldn't remember how I became to lay beneath this unfamiliar ceiling. The last thing that I could think of that happened was screaming. I was screaming and a girl with dark hair and dark eyes was approaching me. Then everything was a sea of black. A deep, swirling sea that I didn't want to dive into just in a meager attempt to remember what had happened. It looked to daunting, to say the least, to even consider it and I shied away from the edge of the swirling pool of forgotten memories. Perhaps I had forgotten them for a good reason.

All of the sudden sound kicked in. I noticed the noises all around me and that finally provoked me to tear my eyes away from the unfeeling ceiling. For it was as if I had been deaf just moments before. There was a persistent soft beeping sound that came from my right. I slowly turned my head and then, miraculously, my nerves sprang to life once more. Amazing! I could feel. There was a pressure on my right index finger but I ignored it for the moment, examining the beeping machine that was so coldly sitting next to me, dutifully doing it's job. It reminded me of someone, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I then decided to look down at my finger, ignoring all other sounds and feelings for the sake of my precious finger. There was a large, bluish-green clippie thing over my finger. I disregarded it and noticed the IV that was tactfully hooked up to the inside of my elbow.

It was after I had fully surveyed my right arm with all the gadgets attached to it that I realized how cold my arm was. Probably from the IV, as I was sure that the room temperature wasn't much warmer than my arm. I subconsciously had noted the thick green curtain that was drawn around my bed area and the matching green sheets that were covering me. I also noticed, but not subconsciously, that I had bandages on my hands, wrists, and on my upper left arm. I took in a deep, slow breath and shifted a bit and noticed the feeling of bandages seemingly randomly place over my torso, on my back, and down my legs.

I scrunched up my nose at yet another new ability that I had just seemingly regained out of the blue. The ability to smell. And it smelt like all hospitals did, for that is where I was dreadfully sure that I was. It smelt like sterilizer and sick people. And what an awful smell that was.

I groaned. All the sounds of shuffling feet and the medical equipment was starting to give me a headache. Something that I didn't need. But I found that I could make sounds. Ah, the gift of speech. And I then realized that, as I could hear someone breathing ever so lightly, that I had yet to examine anything to my left. So, thus, I slowly turned my head and studied that side of my bedding area with indifference. Why should I care what was there? Oh, right… I didn't want someone or something to pop out of no where and give me a heart attack. Well, then again, if that were to happen then I suppose it was a good thing that I was currently laying in a hospital bed with all the necessary equipment hooked up to me to alert doctors and nurses if such an event were to occur.

But what was sitting there next to my bed, or rather _who_ was sitting there next to my bed startled me for I wouldn't have ever thought it that both of them would so willingly sit by my side in hopes of me waking up.

…Or maybe that was too optimistic of me to think. Perhaps they weren't hoping I would wake up. Perhaps they were hoping the opposite. Perhaps they were hoping that I'd die in my sleep and nothing that the doctors could do would save me. But, then again, perhaps if I were to die then I wouldn't need saving. Perhaps I was meant to die… there are way to many sentences starting with 'perhaps' here, am I really that unsure of myself?…

But, regardless, there they sat ever so quietly asleep in their separate chairs. And how very well they made sure they wouldn't even have the slightest chance of touching each other if they were to accidentally lean to one side in their chair. Inuyasha, his hair all skew as he slumbered slouched down in his chair. And Sesshoumaru, who was in what would be called a thoughtful pose. His elbow rested on the armrest of the chair and his chin lightly rested atop his hand, which was supporting his head and balancing rather easily and somewhat perilously on the chair's arm.

Licking my lips, I noticed my mouth was especially dry and I sighed in frustration. What was I doing here, again? I then realized how very drowsy, weak, and stiff I felt. How long had I been here? How long had I been asleep?

I attempted to sit up, which turned out to be an even bigger mistake than I had first thought it would be. My head thundered with pure pain and a wave of nausea so strong that it made me rock back and forth for a moment, my vision heavily splotched with black, washed over me. But I refused to give into it and toughed it out until the nausea had passed. And even after that, my head still pounded with pain and I could clearly hear my heart beat and every rasping breath I took in my head. It resounded and I resisted the urge to cry out and hold my head between my knees, cringing in pain.

Sesshoumaru had woke during my fit of nausea. He swiftly stood and gently attempted to push me back down onto the not-so-comfortable mattress. Every movement I made just made my head pound worse. I scrunched my eyes shut and started to hyperventilate. Sesshoumaru soothed me, smoothing my hair back and softly shushing in my ear. It would have startled me, shocked me, or otherwise completely surprised me until I was breathless to hear such gentle pleasantries coming from him.

I waited for my head to stop pounding, waited until I regulated my breathing again to speak. My head was still pounding, but it was bearable now. Yee-gads! What the hell kind of medication had they given me? I felt like I just got hit by a bus. A very, very large bus.

"Where am I?" was the first intelligible thing to come out of my mouth. My voice was dry and cracked from not being used in everyone-else-but-me-knows how long. I knew full well where I was so the question was completely pointless. But I suppose it would be kind of nice to have it confirmed by him.

"You're in the Hospital, Kagome." He said softly, humoring me, I suppose. And he had called me by a name. Kagome, was it? Was that my name? Why couldn't I remember?

"How…" I swallowed dryly and attempted again. "How did I get here?" Now that was a real question! And, indeed, how did I get here?

"I found you battered and unconscious so I brought you here." He was whispering to me now, gently as if he was being mindful of my pounding head and really didn't want to wake Inuyasha.

I was still confused. That didn't explain anything to me! How did I get unconscious? Why? What had happened? "What-"

"Sleep." He cooed softly, interrupting me. And when I opened my mouth to speak again he shushed me and brushed my hair away from my face. Why was he being so sweet?

I tried to think straight, but his shushing and playing with my hair was making me sleepy for some reason. That and probably the medication too. So I gave into that nagging tug of exhaustion even though I had slept for everyone-but-me-knows how long. I couldn't understand why I'd still be tired since it seemed like I had been asleep for so long. But that didn't matter anymore as sleep carried me off in a soothing embrace, rocking me in utter blackness. I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke only a few hours later, or at least it felt like a few hours. Could have been a day for all I knew. I wasn't all that keen on time perception at the moment. No, not to keen on it in the least. So I once again opened my eyes, hoping my sisters would be there but they weren't… wait, I had sisters? I suppose I did, since I so absentmindedly expected them to be there.

They weren't there. But Inuyasha was. He was sitting, attentively stroking my hand. I furrowed my eyebrows and attempted my best to fully concentrate on him. It was hard, to say the least, simply because I seemed to have super hearing at the moment. I could hear the buzzing of the lights and AC, I could hear the slightest shuffle or movement someone made, as if the sound of their bones lightly creaking was much too loud. All of the sound was making me dizzy, but I ignored it as Inuyasha abruptly snapped his head up and stared at me wide eyed.

There was, what appeared to be, a newly formed scratch mark right across his face. I lifted my hand and touched his face. I was glad his was close enough to touch. He was real and that was good. I was glad he was here beside me. The scratch marks were ugly and hot, but he was still ever so dashingly handsome nonetheless.

"K-Kikyou." He said and he sounded somewhat out of breath. "You're awake." Well that much was obvious, why he had to say it out loud was beyond me. But then… Kikyou, he had called me. Was that my name?

I frowned and didn't bother to look when I heard the curtains moving on the other side of me. Someone just entered my bed area and was now proceeding to walk to the other side of the bed, to join Inuyasha. I let me hand fall away from his face but I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away from his face, as much as I wanted to.

"Kagome." Said a deep, rich voice. It shook me out of paralyzed state and I abruptly looked in the voice's direction, snapping my head to look directly in front of me. It proved to be a mistake to move my head so quickly. It thundered and pounded in protest and a wave of nausea washed over me. I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass. When I opened my eyes again, he was still there, standing at the foot of my hospital bed.

I heard Inuyasha stand and watched as Sesshoumaru handed him a can of Coke. I was still frowning.

"It's Kikyou, Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha attempted to correct his brother. But his brother seemed to feel that he was completely right and that there was nothing to correct.

"Dear half-brother, are you so blind? This girl is obviously Kagome." Sesshoumaru said in a bored tone. Stoic façade in place.

"What are you talking about? It's obviously Kikyou." Inuyasha protested, popping open his drink.

That raised a wonderful question. Who was I? Obviously I was either this Kikyou or this Kagome girl. And why couldn't I correctly remember who I was? What was wrong with me? Why could I remember who these two people were but not myself? What the hell was going on. And all while I was caught up in my frantic thoughts to decipher who I was, the two brothers continued to argue, taking no notice in my grief. No. Correction. The two _half_-brothers continued to argue while taking no notice in my grief.

I knew how I had gotten to the hospital. Sesshoumaru, who I had subconsciously noticed was wearing different clothing than the last time I saw him, had found me in my apartment unconscious and decided it best to bring me here to the hospital. I also subconsciously noticed that Inuyasha had also changed his clothing. I must have been out for a day or so.

But then came the questions again. Who was I? What had happened? Why was I unconscious? Am I hurt? What made it necessary to bring me to a hospital? I was just asleep in my apartment, wasn't I? He hadn't given me details. Just told me what was necessary and convinced me to sleep. I did notice, though, that I didn't feel so drugged anymore. I didn't feel as though I had been hit by a bus, but instead perhaps a small car. Which was significantly better than being hit by a bus, I suppose.

So I had two names, then? Kikyou-Kagome was me. I was Kagome-Kikyou. Or was it the first way? The second way? What if I combined the two names? That would be Kagyou, or how about Kikome? Or Kakou? Kakome? Kigome? Kikagome? Kakikyou?

I let out a frustrated sigh and the two men stopped bickering and turned to face me. But I ignored them for the time being, viciously racking my brain in attempt to regain my actual name. I was grinding my teeth by the time I actually fully noticed the two of them watching me. Inuyasha looked concerned and worried and Sesshoumaru look… well… he had as much emotion displaying on his face as the machine next to me did. He seemed indifferent and cold. But somehow, and I don't know how for it was literally beyond me how I could possibly know so much about two men and so very little about myself, I knew that he was just hiding the worry that- if you were to look closely- was surely showing somewhere behind his eyes.

I let out a frustrated cry. Knowing so much about Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha and so little about me just drove me to further confusion and headache. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't I remember my own person?

"Are you okay, Kikyou?" Inuyasha asked, moving back to his seat beside me and grabbing my hand, clearly worried.

"Is that my name?" I asked and I realized, for the first time since I first woke up in this hospital, how very foreign my voice sounded to me.

"Y-yes." He stuttered and opened his mouth to continue, but Sesshoumaru cut him off with his own rich, soothing voice.

"You don't remember you own name?" He asked and I looked over at him. He was watching me carefully as if trying to detect some kind of deceit in my words.

"No." I finally said. "But you called me.. You called me Kagome, did you not? Is that my name?" I licked my lips, watching him and desperately hoping that he could tell me what it was seeing as Inuyasha couldn't seem to confidently confirm it.

"Yes, I indeed did call you Kagome. But as for it being your name, I am not sure." He motioned towards his half-brother. "Inuyasha here seems convinced that you're his girlfriend, Kikyou. Whereas I believe otherwise."

"She is Kikyou! Look at her! She looks exactly like Kikyou. She sounds like her too." Inuyasha insisted.

"Yes. But Kagome and Kikyou always did look and sound a lot alike, Inuyasha. I would not be surprised if you were not mistaken." Sesshoumaru took a seat in the second chair.

I looked at Inuyasha expectantly and just as he was about to say something, the curtain on the other side of me flew open and I quickly turned my head in that direction, as to see who had entered my little bed area. I gasped, but not because of the two people entering, but because my head thudded with pain and my vision swam for a moment. I blinked, willing my eyes to focus again. It was two rather handsome looking men, both whom I could name and knew. But that just frustrated me further as I just seemed to be knowing more and more people, but not myself.

Miroku and Koga stood arguing in the opening of the curtain for a long moment before Sesshoumaru stood and cleared his throat. "In or out, gentlemen. And if it is in, then I suggest lowering your voices to a reasonable degree."

The two just looked at Sesshoumaru for a long moment before they came in and closed the curtain behind them. Koga advanced on the bed and grabbed my right hand, that had all the equipment hooked up to it. He kissed my hand and mumbled something incoherent.

"Sango! Thank goodness you're alright." Miroku exclaimed, smiling a dazzling smile at me. But that just confused me even more. Sango? What was he doing looking at me with such a loving gaze? He called me Sango. Was _that_ my name?

"Hey, I think you are mistaken. This here is Kikyou!" Inuyasha said, standing once again. Obviously he had his mind firmly set on the thought that I was this Kikyou woman. But it's not like I could tell any of them that they were wrong. Because they weren't, not that I knew. I couldn't correct them because I didn't know my own name either.

"You are both wrong." Koga snapped defensively, "This is Kagome. My sweet Kagome!"

"What?!" Inuyasha moved to walk around to the other side of the bed where Koga was but Sesshoumaru effectively stood in his way.

"I do believe that you are both mistaken, gentlemen." Miroku said sweetly, "For this is my beloved Sango." He leaned on the bed and affectionately rested his hand on my thigh. "Sango, my love, are you doing alright?"

I didn't answer him. But then I didn't really have time to either. Koga broke in by knocking Miroku over the head with his fist and growling possessively. "Keep your hands off of my Kagome!"

"Your Kagome!" Inuyasha barked, "This is _MY_ Kikyou!"

"Obviously you are blind, mutt, because this is very clearly Kagome!" Koga said definitely.

"No! Because she is Sango! My beloved! My fiancé!" Miroku insisted.

And all through this I had stopped paying attention to all of them, even though I could still very clearly hear what they were saying, except for Sesshoumaru. He was silent, as was I, throughout all of the arguing. We stared at each other intently and something flared behind his eyes. I couldn't explain what it was if I wanted to. It was some kind of unnamable emotion. A realization of some sort, I think. As if he had a revelation or something. The other three men were still arguing heatedly over who I was.

Then Sesshoumaru opened his mouth, his voice deadlier than I think I have ever heard it, had I been able to remember ever hearing his voice before being in the hospital. "Silence you pointless bickering." And they did become silent. Oh, how very silent they became.

The silence was deafening, even though there was still plenty of noise going on outside of my curtain.

"Who are you, girl?" Sesshoumaru asked, his voice coldly calm, and I was taken aback.

I stared at him, my mouth slightly agape as I hurriedly racked my brain for a name. Just a name. Any name. A name besides the name of the men around me. A name I heard someone call me a long time ago when I was little. But I couldn't, for the life of me, think of a name. A name of anything. Nothing came to mind. I was desperate as I snapped my mouth closed and chewed on my tongue. What is my name? Who am I? Those two questions were wonderful questions and I wished that I could answer them.

I closed my eyes tight and attempted to remember again. And once again I was at the edge of that swirling pool of memories. It was dark and daunting and nothing could make me so much as stick a toe in the dark whirl pool. No, nothing. I opened my eyes wide and stared at Sesshoumaru, feeling completely helpless and desperate as I shook my head.

"I don't know." I said and tears began slowly trailing down my cheeks.

I didn't understand why I was crying, but I was and I couldn't stop myself. Was I crying because I couldn't find a name? Any name? Out of frustration at myself for not naturally knowing my name like I should? Why did I know these four men better than I knew myself? Why could I remember their names and not my own? It was so frustrating that I wanted to scream. But I didn't. All of my pent up confusion, anger, frustration, stress… all of it came out at once and, instead of screaming, I cried. And cried. And cried. And cried.

I brought my hands up to cover my mouth as if it would help in some way as I unabashedly bawled my eyes out, gasping for air because I was crying so hard. My body was shaking from my racking sobs as I turned over onto my left side away from the majority of them and, ignoring the prickling pain of straining against the wounds that were bandaged across my back, curled up into the fetal position. And not one of them came to comfort me. Not one of them were touching me anymore. They all just stood there and watched me hopelessly cry and I hated all of them in that moment.

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**A/N: I'll Update as soon as possible, promise!**

**Thank You For All Your Reviews. :)**


	7. Ch7: Thoughtfulness

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! (...Wahhh!...)

_Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha and Inuyasha loves Kagome… even more than he knows. What happens when Sesshoumaru interferes in Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome and everything falls apart?… Or does it fall in place?_

**Marionette: I try my best for you people, and you're never satisfied, are you!?  
**_InuYasha: You should so give the blooper real for this story!  
__**Kagome: YEAH!  
**__InuYasha: See... I'm a genius.  
_Sesshoumaru: That's highly debatable.  
_Inuyasha: WHY YOU-  
__**Kagome: INUYASHA! OSUWARI!  
**_SLAM  
**Marionette: Uh… ok. Anyways. Back to the story.  
**_InuYasha: YEAH! Back to the story!  
__**Kagome: sing song voice Read and Review.  
**_Sesshoumaru: It would be in your best interest to do as the girl says...  
_**Kagome: Muuuwaaahahaaahahahaaa! cough erm... I don't know what he means by that, honest.**_

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ELUSIVELY ILLUSIVE LOVE

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**-Chapter Seven: Thoughtfulness-**

I pulled a brush through my nearly knee length black hair, focusing my deep blue-grey eyes on my paled reflection in the mirror as I attempted to discard how shocked and pale I looked. I looked sickly and I felt sickly. Shaky. Scared. But I didn't want to. I wanted to feel healthy. Calm. Safe. I was in a silky black robe and sitting in front of a vanity that was my own but I wasn't in my own home... but I'll get back to that in a minute. I had been released from the hospital just a few weeks ago. Three, maybe four weeks, at the most. They had given me medication, my name, and a little bit of information that went a long way.

I am Kagome Higurashi. That was my name. And I had no sisters or brothers or any siblings. Not any alive, anyway. I did have one little brother, but apparently he had died. His name was Souta. But I couldn't remember what he looked like or what he acted like, so he wasn't really real to me. I couldn't see him, touch him, talk to him. So he wasn't real. Not anymore, but he had been once. But now the only thing left in this world to be real for him was a tombstone with his name inscribed on it. Unfortunately, however, the same thing went for my mother and father. My father, however, had died after Souta was born so even if I were to regain my memory I probably wouldn't remember him.

I had worked in a bookstore called Borders but due to the unplanned 'vacation' at the hospital, if it could be called that, I didn't work there anymore. Sesshoumaru had called for me and told them that I couldn't work in my condition for the rest of the year, according to the doctor. So I basically quit my job. I was relieved of eight months of work. What would I do about bills?...

Oh yes, I said I would get back to that part, didn't I? Well, as for my surroundings, I wasn't in my own home. I was currently living with my, apparently, ex-boyfriend Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru Takashi. Half brothers. Previously, I had lived in an apartment building on the fifth floor in room 518. But while I was in the hospital Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru had both taken the liberty of moving all the stuff that I needed, and only that, to their house so that I could live with them. I was currently residing in the room one door down from Sesshoumaru's. That door led to the bathroom, and rather large bathroom it was. So I suppose we weren't that far away from each other since we had to share that huge bathroom. However, Inuyasha was all the way on the bottom floor at the other end of the house, so he was pretty far away from me. But that's okay. I suppose if we had to share a bathroom it would be kind of awkward seeing as he was supposedly my ex-boyfriend, and I'd rather not make him uncomfortable since I was the guest in the house and all.

Miroku and Koga, on the other hand, had backed off my case and I hadn't heard from them since my last day at the hospital. I guess they have to take time to cope with the fact that I wasn't who they thought I was. Or, at least, I wasn't who Miroku thought I was and that I couldn't remember Koga outside of knowing what his name was. We, Koga and I, were supposed to be best friends of some sort. But I can't remember him well enough to say, and I sort of feel bad because it must hurt his feelings pretty bad if we actually are supposed to best buds. But I feel especially bad about Miroku. I was, apparently, mistaken as his would-be-soon-wife-to-be. I had finally convinced him, with Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Koga's help, that I wasn't his fiancé. But he had still visited me every day until I got released. He was pretty broken up about it, but he always said that my health was more of a concern than his was whenever I asked how he was doing. We became some sort of friends.

Heaving a sigh, I pulled myself out of my thoughts and put my hair into a tight tail at the nape of my neck, just to keep it out of my face. Standing, I discarded the robe and put on a black bra and panties. I had already picked out my clothes for the day. I'd had the entire night to decide since I couldn't fall asleep and was the first in the bathroom this morning to shower and what-not. I pulled on the clothes I had picked out and stared out of my window, even though I couldn't see anything because it was still dark out. I had, after all, gone through my morning motions long before it was dawn. I still had too hours to go. Frowning, I adjusted my deep green long sleeved shirt and brushed off my black super low-rise boot-cut jeans with my hands even though there was nothing to brush off. According to Sesshoumaru, all of the clothing that he had put into my closet were in the closet labeled "Kagome". Obviously there had been something deeply wrong with me because I had been living in an apartment with three bedrooms in it. Anyways, they gathered all of the clothing and stuff that were in the other rooms and closets and let me pick through it to decide what I wanted or needed to keep and what I didn't. After all, technically all of the clothing in the other rooms were also mine and, there for, would fit me. Even "Shippou"s clothes. Needless to say, most of it was donated to Salvation Army or just thrown away.

Sesshoumaru thinks that I had Multiple Personality Disorder and that what caused me to have amnesia was a mental break down of some sort. Inuyasha doesn't have any intelligible thoughts on the matter and doesn't much like it when the subject comes up, mostly because when we end up talking about that we end up talking about Kikyou too. Kikyou, who had been supposedly my 'twin sister' and one of my personalities. He doesn't like to talk about Kikyou because he had cheated on me with her when we were dating. Funny thing, that. He was cheating on me with... me. Pretty freaky, huh? I wonder how he pulled it off. Hell, I wonder how I pulled it off. But I hadn't known that I was doing it. So it wasn't really my fault. He really shouldn't have cheated on me anyways, especially not with one of my 'sisters', with one of my other personalities. But then, maybe he's just more loyal than he thought he was? Hah. Doubtful. Sesshoumaru says that it's because of the stress that Inuyasha put on me by cheating on me with my supposed 'twin sister', who was really me, that had pushed me just that last inch off of the ledge that I had been precariously perched on. Basically he says that it's Inuyasha's fault that I had a complete mental break down so traumatizing that it gave me amnesia. Though, I'm still not sure how that works out. Maybe it's just super suppressed memories?

The doctors have me going to see a therapist every Sunday now. I guess some therapists don't go to Sunday church. But I don't suppose you could be a zealot and try to decipher someone's twisted mind without claiming it an act of the devil. So I guess that's about right. But I'm not saying that there aren't any religious therapists, just making a speculation on the matter of hard-core nuns playing the part of therapist and attempting to give an accurate psychoanalysis, you know?... Maybe they go to Saturday church?

Well, no matter, I wouldn't go to church anyways. It just doesn't seem to appeal to me and I don't much believe in God. So I suppose that would make me an agnostic... or is that atheist? No, agnostic is right. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that there is some kind of higher power. I do believe in destiny, I guess, or maybe fate. But if God is up there then what gives Him the right to give me Multi-Personality Disorder? What right would He have to give me amnesia if He had already taken away so much? I had no immediate family anymore, they were all dead by either accident or just nature. Either way, they were gone so what gave Him the right to take away my memory too? So I suppose if God is real and He is up there watching us and he can hear our prayers, then I'm currently giving him the cold shoulder. I think He is unkind. He is a mean little kid with a magnifier glass, amusing Himself by burning us up with a pinpoint of searing light one at a time. So if God was up there and He could hear my prayers, then the only thing I have to say to Him at the moment is "Back Off". I didn't deserve this. I don't think I deserved this. From what I've heard from other people I didn't deserve this. According to Inuyasha and Koga and Miroku... Hm. Come to think of it, Sesshoumaru hadn't answered me when I asked what I was like before. I think he's uncomfortable with discussing it. So he just speculates about what kind of psychotic mental disorders I could have had, could still have. But according to the others, I had been kind and gentle and somewhat of a romantic, if not a bit of a bleeding-heart. So if God wants to take my memory away too, then just fine. Since He hadn't been helping me in the least, then I will simply just ignore Him. I don't need His help, I'd regain my memory and fix my life by myself.

I'm sure Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha would be willing to help me... I hope. And maybe Koga and/or Miroku too. Maybe. Hopefully.

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**A/N: I am angry at this chapter. It will most likely be subjected to massive modification.**

Sesshoumaru: Halfbreed, Inuyasha.  
_Inuyasha: What?  
_Sesshoumaru: Spell 'genius'.  
_Inuyasha: Hm... Do YOU know how to spell genius?  
_Sesshoumaru: Of course.  
_Inuyasha: Then spell it.  
_Sesshoumaru: I-T. It.  
_Inuyasha: That's not wha-  
_Sesshoumaru: Apparently you aren't as bright as you claim to be, Inuyasha.  
_Inuyasha: WHY YOU-  
__**Kagome: OSUWARI!  
**_SLAM  
_Inuyasha: UGH!... ... What the hell was that for Kagome?!  
__**Kagome: Shrugs Just felt like it I guess...  
**_**Marionette: Uh… ok. Anyways. Remember to review!  
**_**Kagome: Review.  
**__Inuyasha: Review.  
_Sesshoumaru: Review.  
_Rin: REVIEW!  
_Sesshoumaru: Rin, I told you to stay with Jakken.  
_Rin: Oh... Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin buried Jakken-sama and now Rin can't find him..._

**Thank You For All Your Reviews. :)**


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